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Stories That We’re Sorry Went Away

  • Madonna has stunned the movie industry with plans to remake Casablanca — and this time set it in Iraq.

    So claimed The Daily Mail last year. But since then, sadly… nothing.

    It would have made a juicy story, to say the least:

    “Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Ingrid Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet.”

    And there probably never will be. Still, The Mail suggested one helpful line rewrite:

    “Of all the Kabbalah meetings in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

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