The Who2 Blog

Judge Judy: Catch Phrases for the Next Decade


“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining” — that’s the famous catch-phrase of TV’s Judge Judy.  (She even made it into a book title.)

Last night I woke up in a lukewarm Midwestern sweat, realizing it was time for Judge Judy to freshen up her catch-phrase.  I don’t have her email address, so I’m publishing my suggestions here. Judge, feel free to use any of these on your next show.  And call me!  We’ll have coffee and folderols!

  • “Don’t pelt me with egg yolks and tell me it’s sunny.”
  • “Don’t shower me with crude oil and tell me it’s chocolate syrup.”
  • “Don’t pickle my gherkins and tell me they’re Froot Loops.”
  • “Don’t nibble on my ear and tell me the fish are biting.”
  • “Don’t whack me with a beer bottle and tell me it’s Chardonnay.”
  • “Don’t barf in my taxi and tell me it’s spaghetti.”
  • “Don’t push me off the Sears Tower and tell me I’m flying first class, Oprah.”
  • “Don’t sprinkle me with fertilizer and tell me I’m a philodendron.”
  • “Don’t design a pointy bra for me and tell me you’re Howard Hughes.”
  • “Don’t trim my bangs and tell me I’m a Labradoodle.”
  • “Don’t do it in the ballroom with a candlestick and tell me I’m Colonel Mustard.”

Don’t forget to read our biography of Judith “Judge Judy” Sheindlin!

(Judge Judy conceptual hat tip: Mr. Hehn.  Photo credit: Susan Roberts)

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