The Who2 Blog

Weird: George Zimmerman’s Jailhouse Phone Calls

They’re public, and they don’t make Florida teen killer George Zimmerman look so good.

First of all, they don’t really have anything to do with why George Zimmerman is in trouble for his original crime. That crime — he’s been charged with second-degree murder — was about Zimmerman killing teenager Trayvon Martin because… well, who knows. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong skin color, wrong gun laws — so many factors. I wasn’t there, and you weren’t there.

These audio files have more to do with George Zimmerman’s recent troubles in court. Namely, he was originally released from jail after paying a low bond — because he claimed he didn’t have any money. That changed when the judge figured Zimmerman was fibbing about how much money he had.

These audio files don’t convict Zimmerman of any crime against Trayvon Martin, but they certainly do make it sound as though Zimmerman was a) a man who is lying about moving sums of money; and b) a man who is so criminally stupid he deserves to be in jail.

Every single one of these phone calls between George Zimmerman and his wife is preceded by a lengthy, irritating automated warning that what you are saying is being recorded.

Does that stop jailbirds from talking about their crimes? Apparently not. Zimmerman is heard telling his wife to move money from one account to another several times. Their clever code consists of him telling her, “…and move ten dollars — less than ten dollars — ” — from this account to that account. It’s been described as an “elaborate” but “sloppy” scheme. It has Shellie Zimmerman charged with perjury.

“Less than ten dollars” is clearly code for “less than ten THOUSAND dollars.” This is made even more clear later on, when George Zimmerman’s wife is worried about doing such a transfer twice in one day. Oops, that put Shellie, his wife, is in trouble.

That exchange is part of what makes the recordings cruel comedy. Time and again, you hear George Zimmerman’s exasperation with his wife, because she’s obviously having trouble logging into the money side of his website. And she’s prone to having a third party on the line to help her with computer problems, much to George’s disappointment and, at times, panic.

His poor wife! She’s working overtime trying to cover up for George. He doesn’t thank her. He doesn’t trust that she’ll remember the passwords, and grouses to his sister. He KNOWS he’s being recorded, keep in mind.

All of it sounds like a good case for the prosecution, at least on the rather minor point about how much money George Zimmerman had access to — which means he lied to the judge. Perhaps to his fans that makes him even more heroic, but as a practical matter, it’s not all that smart.

Again, it doesn’t mean George Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin with malice aforethought or recklessness.

It does mean that George Zimmerman was savvy enough to immediately set up a cash-begging website, knowing full well that America’s gun nuts would contribute with no questions asked. And it also means there’s probably a reason George Zimmerman was never able to become a real cop — he was just too much of a goofus.

If you have the time, the audio files are worth listening to, provided you have an appreciation for the strangeness of human beings. If you’re on Zimmerman’s side — for whatever reason — you may not want to listen to them. He sounds guilty as hell.

Agreed — not guilty as hell when it comes to killing Trayvon Martin. Just guilty as hell when it comes to hoodwinking the justice system.

And, frankly, Zimmerman comes across sounding, well… shifty. Is that a crime? No, not at all. Some people admire that. Again, to be clear: just because you lie and scheme about how much money you make after a shooting, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have done the shooting in the first place, even if it was shooting an unarmed kid on his way back from the neighborhood convenience store.

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