Quaid explains his (and his wife’s) strange behavior of the last few months as his attempt to get himself free of shadowy group of accountants and lawyers he calls “a malignant tumor of star whackers in Hollywood.”
These star whackers have murdered Heath Ledger, David Carradine, Chris Penn and at least five others. Quaid also believes the star whackers are out to get Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson, just three of the celebrities who are “being played.”
But today it sounds as though the star whackers have made Charlie Sheen their top priority.
Radar Online claims to have the inside dope on what exactly happened earlier this week, when Sheen was supposedly found naked and screaming in a hotel.
According to this story, Sheen wasn’t with a prostitute, as originally reported. He was with a porn star. And some cocaine. And he kept shouting the “N word” for no apparent reason. And he was throwing furniture around.
Charlie says the whole story has been “overblown,” a curious word to use given the cocaine angle.
Is Sheen listening to Randy Quaid’s theory on Hollywood star whackers? Should Sheen high-tail it to Canada (where Quaid ran off to)? And why is Canada off limits to Hollywood star whackers?
Here’s some vintage Charlie Sheen, his “Video Message to President Obama” (unfortunately, you don’t actually get to Charlie until the 4:20 mark):
Below, in two parts, is the video of actor Randy Quaid reading his prepared statement about “star whackers” in Hollywood.